Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Jetting to the Rescue

The pact with the Barons had been made with the Viceroy by the muddy lake. Now the Viceroy and his minions were told to be inspired by collapsing bridges. Having been built all at once, the developers were later let go and a generation gap in bridge building ensued. With the passage of time, the bridges began to collapse, but no developers were left to design new ones. The Viceroy said E Street has followed the same path, and is relearning the tricks of the trade that had been lost with a previous generation.

Oh, and the commercial guys would have the same problems. Zing!

But the Viceroy, drawing in fresh air, told the minions to stay the course, 1X is almost on the pad. The five segment stick, anchored firmly to the desert floor, rumbled to life. And Rube's double ended solution would keep it from shaking their friend's bladders to pieces when it finally points upright. Problem solved! Just another day on a hard development program.

Behind the Viceroy, other forces went to work. One of the favorite Flyboys jetted to E Street to help formulate an accounting of the termination costs for the star-crossed program. Other theaters were asked to assess the cost of zeroing out the current program. The powder would be kept dry until needed in the final hours of the conflict. Up the street, complaints could already be heard, inflexibly staying on the path, and wasted sunk costs and time recounted. New voices were ambushed before they could be heard. Large termination costs would fan those flames soon.

The Snow Princess tried to sleep through the commotion, but the sugar plum fairy was replaced by the former Emperor in her dreams, and the new night chamber filled with shadows. This was not the future she had dreamed of before, but rather, a nightmare that haunts all seeking a more enlightened path.


Anonymous said...

"Viceroy by the muddy lake" is one of the most obscure references I've seen here so far. Can someone shine a light for me? I just haven't twigged yet...

Antares said...

Excellent intel. The Barons of Bethesda and Chicago are now firing into the backs of their minions who have tried to turn Pasadena into Lexington, MA.

The 9th floor went from being horribly wrong for the last 4 years to completely right with the takeover by Charlie and NSS. What are WE going to do to destroy the myths and put us on a sustainable course where NASA is not the only customer for its rockets?

kT said...

Look, this modern medieval reporting you do with great style, but we want Nostradamus quatrains of the future!

Anonymous said...

There are none so blind as those that will not see. A parade of witnesses before a witless audience. Lamentations over a report that like an amoeba, points in many directions but proceeds in none. The report is no lodestone, no compass to guide, only Captain Ahab, fastened to the whale, beckoning for more money to keep the nightmare alive.

Some think 3 billion can magically overcome the ills and make the corndog or wiggle stick or whatever monicker one may attach to it work as intended. As it stands now, it is an undefined monster, designed by those of no experience so simple logic says they should get more money to continue the farce? The designers are betting our space faring future on the suppliers being able to overcome the lack of direction and make something that will work. Smug in their confidence that their sins will be covered up by those with real intelligence and design capability they will claim success which will never truly be theirs.

Will someone kindly shut the ex-emperor's mouth about his paper design being safer than the available commercial designs! It is time for him to realize that demonstrated performance trumps paper dreams every time. It is time to put an end to this nonsense and decide once and for all if we are going to stay in space or just visit museums for the rest of our lives.

Anonymous said...

"muddy lake" is the clue. JSC is located near Clear Lake, Tx. The Viceroy is the grand potentate of the Constellation Program Office.

Anonymous said...

viceroy by the muddy lake?

I'd guess that's the head of constellation program
office at JSC. The nearest suburb to JSC is
Clear Lake, so i'd guess that's the reference.

Only other one is maybe the Orion work being done
at Michoud which is by Lake Ponchetrain.

Frankly that sad excuse for a PDR is the proof
Ares doesn't fly. A 2,000 lb performance margin?

no chance they get to flight.

QuantumG said...

2nd Anonymous: that first paragraph is a work of art.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for providing the de-crypter ring for this one!

Anonymous said...

Are we sure such a pact really exists, or might it just be continued empty bluster by the Viceroy who is just a cloth-less as his former Emperor?

Anonymous said...

Ares 1 can fly, even lift Orion no problem. Just only to about 75 miles high.....

Maybe we need a CxP waver..?

Anonymous said...

I have finally escaped the tyrrany of 4708, leaving it to the spiders, mice and ants and the NASArites that know it all. So sure are they, that none can question their facts without a knife in their backs from the barons of Chicago. They will sacrifice truth in the pursuit of money, experience for aquiescence, gladly firing any of their own who dare to point out that the minions, like the former emperor, are without apparel.

If you disagree, away with thee, for they were born at the base of the tree of knowledge. From notes and scraps of paper and smudged drawings of yore they profess complete understanding even though born just a moment before.

And yes, 1-X will roar into the skies, demonstrating the well known fact that if you push hard enough on something it will fly. They will deceive the world but more importantly themselves. Ignoring the fact that 1-x bears no resemblance to the real thing, they will proclaim brilliance while underneath lies lies rust and decay.

Constellation is a house built upon sand, proffered by slick salesmen who, at the first sign of real trouble will quickly run off to the nearest warm body shop. Oh, whatever will the minions do then?

Anonymous said...

[i]"Oh, whatever will the minions do then?"[/i]

The protected minions of civil service will simply be redirected to struggle through the breach of some other forlorn hope.

The minions of the contractors, though they be in the majority, will simply be laid waste to and few within the agency shall weep at their passing. Their families however shall weep to their foreclosure and their children's college fund expiration, all.

Anonymous said...

It seems these days that our agency is run according to the principles of Karl and Fred, to each center according to it needs, from each center according to it abilities. The trouble is, the latest 5 year plan requires nothing from some.
This may come as a shock to some in Wernher's town, who are under the delusion that the invisible hand is at work there. The only had at work is that of the man from Tuscaloosa, guiding the money from Beijing to Geithner and then to his neighbors.
No, the invisible hand is at work in Denver, Hawthorne and Dulles and if history is any guide, it beats the hammer and sickle every time.

Anonymous said...

And yes, 1-X will roar into the skies, demonstrating the well known fact that if you push hard enough on something it will fly.

Wrong. "If you push something hard enough, it will fall over." - Fudd's First Law of Opposition