The Ballad of Bill Arceneaux

With apologies to Paul Henning...

Come and listen to a story about a NASA engineer named Bill
A poor JSC guy, he tried to hold the line until,
One day he was tryin to make a real rocket success,
And up through the phone came a bubblin mess.

Emperor callin that is, fumin, DC style.

Well the first thing you know ol Bill's lost his chair,
Kinfolk said "Bill, move away from there"
Said "Testing is the place you ought to be"
So they loaded up the truck and moved to T&E.

Testin, that is. Rocket ships, space capsules.

Well now its time to say good bye to Bill and all his kin.
He's been told to pack his bags again.
Tried to hold the line on testin before PDR is reality,
Going to become the king of operability.

Doing nothing that is. Set a spell, Take your shoes off.

Y'all come back now, y'hear?.

The Lost Art of Fact Checking.

Executive Director of the American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics (AIAA), Major General Robert Dickman (USAF-Ret): "In 2003, there were over 1,000 research projects focusing on basic non- exploration space physical and life sciences across the United States, which supported over 1,500 scientists, and over 3,000 students. Today, only five years later, there are 85 such research projects, supporting approximately 300 students."

Advisory Board Member, Coalition for Space Exploration Former NASA Flight Director / Director Mission Operations, Gene Kranz: "The funding stream that has supported the Shuttle will be redirected to the major development phase of Projects Orion and Ares. However, this approach, as laid out in the Vision for Space Exploration, will lead to the creation of roughly a 4 1/2 year gap--at least! This decision and impractical, shortsighted approach was not driven by the current NASA leadership, but rather by the preceding regime in close coordination with "bean-counters" from the Office of Management and Budget."

Ahhhh, Gene, maybe next time you testify you might want to check your facts? Who created the gap? Who killed the pipeline of technology programs aimed at reducing lifecycle costs, enabling reliable access to space, and inspiring the next generation replacing the 26% of aerospace workers eligible for retirement this year? Last time we checked, the previous group was going to be flying competing designs THIS YEAR, and flying to the moon in 2015, not just to ISS in 2016...and that's if we're lucky and PDR doesn't slip further.

Did the Emperor pay your green fees last week or something?

Maybe that regime and bean-counters know something the guys footing your paycheck don't? Hope your book editors fact check better than you do. Just a thought...Or do you just like launching into thunderstorms that much?

Subtraction and Addition

The head tailor for the Emperor's wardrobe is bidding the boss adieu. Scott Pace will be heading to the Space Policy Institute at George Washington University as its new director. Perhaps there he will once again regain his skills in math and be able to solve the equation on the blackboard.

Ares (1+5) = 0.

Q.E.D.

Leaving Solid Ground

John Glenn attended NASA's 50th anniversary celebrations on Capitol Hill, Washington D.C. this week. An American Hero, with a capital H. He's the first American in orbit, a former Senator, and the oldest to fly on the space shuttle at 77, ten years ago. Who says rank doesn't have its privileges?

Our Heroes, by their nature, are complex individuals. They are allowed to express their opinions long past their expiration dates. For someone who started down the enabling path to the moon it is unfortunate to hear out-dated opinions once again reverberating in DC.

"The investment we have up there and the potential for learning new things are tremendous at a time when we're coming under additional global competition. The International Space Station is the greatest, most complex laboratory ever put together."

But our Hero is not done.

"The shuttles may be old, but they're still the most complex vehicle ever put together by people, and they're still working very well," he added.

JG, ISS, STS. All complex. Unfortunately, complexity, in and of itself, is not always a good thing.

Orion's Cycle of Life

The ground thaws, spring flowers wave in summer breezes, and finally the colors of fall glow brilliantly in the setting sun. Winter comes. Mother nature passes on. Reds, Greens and Yellows turn to browns and greys awaiting rebirth again in the following spring.

Similarly, spring and summer held promise for a PDR for Orion. Now that promise has grown stale and slipped to November. Winter. Like all living things, Orion is following a cycle. And soon, it too, will die under its own weight. And cost.

And what lies beyond? A new year. A new spring. Rebirth?

Rube Goldberg Was a Piker

Werner Von Braun's body was found in China this week after making the trip from D.C. No, he wasn't exhumed, he just churned in his grave until he augured all the way through after an unidentified visitor paying respects whispered to him graveside about the latest hare-brained scheme to make ARES 1 lift off and fly right.

The picture at top left provides an indication of the level of sophistication that Steve Cook's minions will go in order to make ARES 1 the most unreliable launch vehicle ever brought forward for man-rating. Active reaction control jets will be employed in equal and opposite direction to the purported thrust oscillation ARES will experience in its five segment form. Remember when ARES was billed as "Soon, Simple, Safe?" It is turning out to be none of the above.

Of course, if the RCS jets fail, the crew will eject their hearts from their chest cavities and their bladders from...well, you know where. So, since it can't fail, let's add redundancy. Oh yeah, that's more weight for a vehicle already in hock up to its parachutes to weight-watchers and the country's taxpayers are stuck with the bill.

Is Garry Lyles finally calling the Emperor's bluff by proposing this ridiculously better mouse trap to solve the ARES thrust oscillation problem and exposing the folly for all to see? We know Garry and don't believe he would honestly propose such an abhorrent system without a smile on his face. Then again, maybe Garry already knows this will be the safest rocket yet made?

It certainly can't kill anybody if it stays on the ground.

Please Sir, I Want Some More?

The Emperor who needs new clothes, meet Oliver Twist.

NASA employees have used government credit cards to ring up iPods, video games and even clothes from the agency's own gift shop, while at other times using the cards in ways that sidestep competitive bidding rules, federal documents and a Houston Chronicle review of agency records show.

Bad designs, escalating risk, schedule slips, budget overruns, conflicted review boards, revolving doors (another big scandal that will be breaking next week, stay tuned), and now credit cards for personal use and even for avoiding competitive bids in some cases.

The Emperor and his minions want many more billions of dollars to send down the flame trench and yet still can't manage to develop a simple process to approve government credit card expense reports. How can we possibly trust them to watch over our dear taxpayers' dollars and our astronauts safety?

Maybe with the $270 worth of T-shirts and hats purchased from a NASA gift shop with a government credit card and justified by one cardholder as "safety attire?"