Monday, January 12, 2009

Culinary Catastrophe

Sensing blood in the water, the sharks are beginning to circle in tighter circles. The Emperor is close to his lifeboat, yet the rest of the crew are still manning the bridge, lacking a similar means of escape as the water rises all around them. Alas, the futility of it all will soon become evident.

The Italian Waiter calls for a late reprint of the menu for his last supper. But a walk through the mess hall reveals empty shelves. The cabinets are bare. The new menu does not reflect what is really available in the sinking kitchen.

Likewise, test programs for the doomed "Stick" that were deemed too expensive and jettisoned overboard last year are magically reappearing on schedules, albeit without supporting budget. Something fishy is going on in Alabama.

The fish and floating bottles of wine now surrounding the Waiter are a product of the rising waters, and not from the transformation of similarly floating loaves of bread. "The Snow Princess will see that we are doing the right things to make this program work and we shall be saved by her benevolence," says the goateed one. "But, sir, we have no means of cooking such a meal and the water continues to breach the bulkheads," say the minions.

"Don't bother me with details, just be sure to print today's selections on glossy paper with a spiral bound."


Anonymous said...

You Sir Rocketman, are an artist of the written word with a unique skill to blend the characters and events of a real-life tragedy into a delightful story. Such ability to master the written word combined with poetic imagery is a brilliant combination seldom seen in the world of engineering. Thank you,

p.s. The most important thing that anyone can leave to posterity is their good name.

Anonymous said...

Rocketman has certainly taken the art of mixing metaphors to a new height- highly entertaining.

But now back to where the rubber meets the brass tacks... any juicy suspicions on who will be the Grif's replacement? Am I right to hope that there could be change away from ARES? Is this a lost cause? Are we doomed by inertia?

Should we hope for a space scientist or a good liaison with DoD types? Egg head or jar head? it's so confusing. I'm afraid I'll accidentally get what I pray for.

Anonymous said...

i suspect the marshall gang is realizing
Obama wants to kill the Stick, so they are
adding tests in to validate key parts
saying "You have to let us Demonstrate X"
before you can kill this, and then slide
the tests or fudge the results.

Anonymous said...

Yep! Something is rotten in Alabama. We are still buying stuff based upon a set of requirements that are rotten to the core! The management approach is to buy the crap and then fix the documentation later!

Anonymous said...

I certainly hope that whoever is involved in the outright lying to somehow support the horrid stick is outed. If the public cannot trust NASA to act responsibly, even in the face of adverse data, then they are unworthy of future trust. It is funny thing- the currency of trust and falsehood. Hard to get that back when you act like a liar or a weakling unwilling to stand up for what you really know to be truth. We really don't need folks like that around NASA. They tend to leave a stink that takes years to eradicate.

Anonymous said...

Based on a conversation Friday, KSC seems to believe that the pad work already done will keep Ares alive.