Monday, December 10, 2007

To the Showers.

With Skip Hatfield out of the way, we'd like to offer some speculation about the next three people to be joining him in the penalty box in the near future. To wit:

1. ALAS Managers (the current one and the next one). Despite having spent two years designing and analyzing the launch abort system, some $100M on wind tunnel testing, and some $10M on vibroacoustic testing, the ALS will fall victim to the Emperor's napkin. MLAS will be called in from the dugout and the program will take a one year slip to incorporate the whimsical alternate launch abort system. Then after spending a similar amount of time and money, the minions will figure out that the napkin sketch won't work and revert to the working ALAS.

2. Command Module Manager. When the first CEV and LSAM are docked on top of the ESAS and propelled towards the moon, two technical problems that are being deliberately ignored by the Chief Engineer of the Universe will get blamed on you know who. The docking adapter carrying the loads between the two vehicles will come apart at the seams, just like every outside review board has suggested. And then, once that big LSAM engine fires to slow the stack into lunar orbit, the astronauts will be trying to put their eyes back in after the eyeballs out maneuver is completed. Of course, the pony-tailed ESAS leader who promoted that idea and the idea of carrying all of that parasitic propulsive weight to the lunar surface will be nowhere to be found.

As PDR races away from us to the right, we're sure we'll be adding to this list in the very near future.


Jake said...

I'm not sure what the current design is, but the original ESAS document had LOI accelerations of around one gee. Lying face down on the floor does not make one's eyeballs pop out, last time I checked.

Anonymous said...

If you want a reason to get a new set of eyeballs, I've got a rocket for you :