tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36734353624003688882024-03-04T21:59:49.759-08:00RocketsAndSuchRocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.comBlogger399125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-69550629974643945362009-10-27T04:35:00.000-07:002009-10-27T05:37:38.377-07:00The EndCue Jim Morrison...and Kenny Rogers.<br /><br />A little over two years ago we watched new management at the Theater on E Street walk down the avenue in parade, sans cover, and proceed to dismantle what little was left of the heritage from the first steps. We pointed out the lack of wardrobe and the untoward shams being propagated for the audience. Many followed our allegory and contributed to our unveilings. <br /><br />This morning, a final act of desperation may or may not evolve. If not today, soon. Even in the 21st century, weather still controls us and not the other way around. Should molten debris settle over our national assets, nothing will have been proved by this rag-tag collection of parts, for this is not the machine that is being contemplated for future employment. Likewise, if the corndog is lowered to the serene waters of the Atlantic, it proves only that electricity flows from the red button to the igniter. For that realization, dear taxpayer, you have sacrificed much.<br /><br />Likewise, corruption has been revealed and will eat its way forward over the coming months. The fact that we have made it to this point at all is the disappointment. A cast of characters led by an ego-maniacal emperor prospered for a time, naked of engineering excellence, innovation, and charm. They have departed the scene, for the most part, but their fingerprints remain.<br /><br />Viceroys, waiters, broomhandlers, and pony-tails have been replaced by a tearful lot, ironically lacking passion or belly for the job at hand. Perhaps they will lead us (somehow that's not the right word) to some small rock in the sky, long after the last student has lost interest in the art or the accomplishment. <br /><br />And so, dear reader, with these realizations, we are fast becoming redundant and parody has lost its charm. We did it our way and now we have picked our time. We'll leave the details and clean-up to the rest of the masturbatory scribes as we contemplate a new way forward. It is time for our Tony Soprano moment. <br /><br />Don't stop believing!<br /><br /><br />Silence Dogood and the Brothers and Sisters of the Truth<br /><br />p.s. the Walrus was PaulRocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-81634666159624938162009-10-22T07:10:00.001-07:002009-10-22T07:10:53.133-07:00R.I.P. AltairRocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-46108700719478503912009-10-19T19:31:00.000-07:002009-10-19T19:40:06.006-07:00Dynamite Always Blows DownIt seems the government has a different way of dealing with risks when it's racing to save one of its own. For example, remember when the poor Falcon at VAFB had to pick up stakes and move to Kwaj? Heaven forbid, the poor little "commercial" fellow might have sprinkled debris on ascent over the rest of the base. <br /><br />The distance from pad 39-A to 39-B is 8715 ft. We think you know what our next question would be.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-36491960528045458682009-10-19T19:20:00.000-07:002009-10-19T19:31:27.324-07:00Can't Beat the SpreadThe minions met Monday and decided to adjust Atlantis' target launch date to Nov 16 to "optimize" the agency's ability to launch both Ares I-X and Atlantis before the end of the year. The same launch team is supporting both the shuttle and the flight test of the Ares I-X rocket, which is targeted to lift off on Oct. 27. <br /><br />Hmmmm. The shuttle workforce is still largely intact. Yet we can't process two vehicles ten days apart? How would we ever launch Ares I and Ares V, or even a pair of V's, at the same time?Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-58481830792210749842009-10-19T19:15:00.000-07:002009-10-19T19:16:09.318-07:00All The Emperor's MenSort of reminds one of how Nixon went down, doesn't it?<br /><br />Tick Tock.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-35224367182221757932009-10-17T16:53:00.000-07:002009-10-17T17:04:25.557-07:00Snickers BarAs the water is being drained from the pool, one of the first big fishes (at least in his own mind) has floated to the surface and is ready to walk on land away from E Street. The little bee who shanked so many, has himself found a new well to get his honey from. <br /><br />Make sure you bring your can of Off if you have to business with thems that rescued him.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-25516033886900707002009-10-10T08:02:00.000-07:002009-10-10T08:27:34.419-07:00Squiggly Lines and SuchWe all know "science" takes time. Time to look through the data, take out the noise, correlate various sensors, and report the findings. <br /><br />But the announcement of the meaning of one of those squiggly lines leaked out yesterday anyway, making the whole process now somewhat suspect. Sodium was seen in the spectra (ah hah, there is a spectra!) and reported dully to the press afterwards. Yet somehow, a "longer look at the data" was required to see, or not see, that other squiggly line everyone was hoping to see. While the minions had every one's attention, some flash science results that were available could have been shared. "Good" or "bad." We paid for the moon bombing and we deserve to see what those computers churned out in the first minutes after the data was available. And data was available. And the computers did churn.<br /><br />And maybe the public would have learned something about the scientific method. <br /><br />This is not the first occasion that the minions have built something up, only to send the children home crying. Remember Mars Polar Lander, Bill Nye the Science Guy, and Buzz Aldrin sending us home from Pasadena tearing up like LoriAndI? <br /><br />But please, Mr. & Ms. Congress, can we have some more? Another $3B and we'll do something wonderful. We promise.<br /><br />The 475nm Panel skipped over the part explaining why we need humans in space and now their options have fallen on deaf ears. A simple statement of need, from which a policy can be derived, would have been nice vision (pun intended) to start from. The academics on the panel were certainly more qualified to do that than the ESAS'ed review of rockets and safety and costs they screwed up on. Followed by a period of reasoned trade studies and architectural formulation...while holding the ego-maniacal clothless wonder at bay...would have given us a reaffirmation, or fork in the road, to progress on with some confidence of satisfying those grounded needs we started with.<br /><br />Instead, we are back wandering in the desert, without water, so to speak.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-36329648802186000262009-10-09T04:58:00.001-07:002009-10-09T05:02:19.982-07:00Splat!Was that the sound of LCROSS bombing the moon? <br /><br />Or perhaps the divining rod braking in two?<br /><br />You get what you pay for.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-72497736911813366622009-10-05T04:51:00.001-07:002009-10-08T05:17:15.493-07:00Thoroughly UnthoroughThe pony-tailed "engineer" who led NASA's Exploration Systems Architecture Study that chose the Ares launchers, "said...the rapid pace of the (475 nm Panel) review did not allow for a thorough analysis of cost, risk and schedule implications associated with those options."<br /><br />Oh yeah, and we guess the rapid pace of ESAS somehow did allow for a thorough analysis?Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-7510420201489523452009-10-01T15:07:00.000-07:002009-10-01T15:18:55.026-07:00WaiveringHere's one for the sleuths in the crowd. Go find the list of waivers that is stacking up taller than the Ares 1X corndog itself. Then ask why the environmental qualification exceedances for the roll control are being waivered? How about those avionics boxes? And why are waivers doing away with the re-test of boxes that required late work being written as well?<br /><br />Yes, they are just that desperate to stay in the game by rolling the dice. What if it was your $300M depending on that roll? <br /><br />Oh wait, it is.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-45826090455565665972009-09-29T20:41:00.000-07:002009-09-29T21:03:27.500-07:00SES PoolIt seems like only yesterday, but in fact LoriAndI have been in office for almost 120 days now. You know what that means. The smell of the SES pool is becoming noticeable. It's time for the fall pool cleaning.<br /><br />And wouldn't you know it, the band leader is calling a 100% mandatory meeting of all SES minions on Oct 14-15 in the E Street Theater. The Snow Princess has her 90 day letters ready to go. The meeting will be to give fair warning that the pool will be drained and scoured within days thereafter and it may be wise to find another pool to swim in after that. With the approaching winter, after the pool is cleaned, it will be covered and not likely refilled to the old level for some time to come.<br /><br />With the demise of the Market Inn, we can only wonder where the fallen leaves will land after being dropped from the adjacent tree.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-71852262964845651762009-09-29T20:29:00.000-07:002009-09-29T20:41:00.871-07:00Tracks of My Tears"I would be telling you a lie if I told you we're on board, we're really excited about this," LoriAndI said. <br /><br />We guess that means he and the old guard he represents aren't too excited about "commercial space," whatever that is?<br /><br />"We think we can find the most innovative solutions to some of our most difficult and challenging, problems through competition and innovation. This is pretty exciting stuff," the band leader said, tears forming in his eyes. "Let me say that again: this is exciting stuff." <br /><br />Now we're confused. He'd be telling lies if he/they were excited. But he finds it to be really exciting stuff. <br /><br />Cue Smokey.<br /><br />"People say I'm the band leader of E Street<br />Because I tell a joke or two<br />Although I might be laughing loud and hearty<br />Deep inside I'm blue<br />So take a good look at my face<br />You'll see my smile looks out of place<br />If you look closer, it's easy to trace<br />The tracks of my tears..."Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-85736012095543195102009-09-27T06:00:00.000-07:002009-09-27T06:07:22.688-07:00Something Else to Fail AtGive the indefatigable minions in Shelbyville credit. They never fail to take on a new project to fail at. NLS, SLI, OSP, X-33, X-34, Fastrac engine, Ares. Even now they are jumping in with both feet on territory normally reserved for the Schwarzeneggerians and Mikulsians.<br /><br />"We are designing a flight mission to go to the lunar surface. We are looking at different scenarios that would develop a lander to be small but would have a large power need because of a variety of instruments it would contain," said the robotic lunar lander project manager.<br /><br />Small with large power needs. Yep, sounds like they are off to a good start already!Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-15981973402102112692009-09-27T05:42:00.001-07:002009-09-27T05:56:27.098-07:00Midnight OilOn the heels of the GAO report questioning the grand scheme of things, the poor minions are going through a lot of #2 pencils this weekend looking for, but not finding, extra nines in the corndog risk analysis. The not so prideful new owners on Pennsylvania Avenue are still hoping to renovate the E Street Theater and are pushing back against the historical (some would say hysterical) preservationists questioning their intent to proceed with the Fourth of July spectacular on October 27.<br /><br />Amidst all of the pencil grinding, the playbill is being drawn up. Come October 9, LoriAndI will share the scrimmage plans with the rest of the senior minions (and the Barons of Industry). <br /><br />Soon after, the final battle will be engaged.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-62250360096864057872009-09-25T09:21:00.000-07:002009-09-25T09:31:47.195-07:00Stick in the MudThe corndog has ED issues. And that Oct 27 date may have been a bit "premature," to use a word in the same context.<br /><br />The technology demonstrator, known as Ares 1-X, as we all know, is a bit of a limp stick. When sitting on the old Saturn crawler with a fundamental frequency below 0.1HZ, it wiggles like a petunia on the patio. Should the crawler have to stop suddenly... ooops. <br /><br />We think you get the picture.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-66775932367428904462009-09-25T06:16:00.001-07:002009-09-25T06:28:34.246-07:00Dampening Spirits, Take 2Ares 1 needs a damper. Yet, in an attempt to keep an unsustainable program going, our friends in Utah tied a rocket to the ground at multiple points (need we point out the stiffening advantage of that?) and declared victory when the system failed to chirp like an organ. Now, even Viceroy Gerst is trying to damp down the enthusiasm for overstating the facts. <br /><br />Remember, the bladder busting is somewhat probabilistic in nature. It sometimes even appears in shuttle flights, albeit at much reduced magnitude, but not on every motor. Drawing good news conclusions from one test, pinned to the ground, is folly. Proposing Ares 1 as a tech development program for Ares V is also folly. And taking a crap shoot like Ares 1X is desperate folly. But, these are the kind of fool's games that will be played from here to cancellation.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-83657142881793406182009-09-25T06:11:00.000-07:002009-09-25T06:16:09.202-07:00Dampening Spirits, Take 1The moon is a damp mistress. And she will now wail louder for those who can hear her siren song as the waypoint refueling station to Mars. Poor Norm. He should have listened to Jeff. Instead, you can find his final report next to "Dumb and Dumber" on the same half-off shelf.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-7471420663960502342009-09-21T10:58:00.000-07:002009-09-21T11:02:05.697-07:00Funny PapersWith Peggy in the accompanying picture, the headline reads: "Hard Hats Give Way to Test Tube Shots."<br /><br />Ooops, sorry, maybe we misread that.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-47707265452067018502009-09-16T06:05:00.000-07:002009-09-16T06:29:32.328-07:00Jetting to the RescueThe pact with the Barons had been made with the Viceroy by the muddy lake. Now the Viceroy and his minions were told to be inspired by collapsing bridges. Having been built all at once, the developers were later let go and a generation gap in bridge building ensued. With the passage of time, the bridges began to collapse, but no developers were left to design new ones. The Viceroy said E Street has followed the same path, and is relearning the tricks of the trade that had been lost with a previous generation.<br /><br />Oh, and the commercial guys would have the same problems. Zing!<br /><br />But the Viceroy, drawing in fresh air, told the minions to stay the course, 1X is almost on the pad. The five segment stick, anchored firmly to the desert floor, rumbled to life. And Rube's double ended solution would keep it from shaking their friend's bladders to pieces when it finally points upright. Problem solved! Just another day on a hard development program. <br /><br />Behind the Viceroy, other forces went to work. One of the favorite Flyboys jetted to E Street to help formulate an accounting of the termination costs for the star-crossed program. Other theaters were asked to assess the cost of zeroing out the current program. The powder would be kept dry until needed in the final hours of the conflict. Up the street, complaints could already be heard, inflexibly staying on the path, and wasted sunk costs and time recounted. New voices were ambushed before they could be heard. Large termination costs would fan those flames soon.<br /><br />The Snow Princess tried to sleep through the commotion, but the sugar plum fairy was replaced by the former Emperor in her dreams, and the new night chamber filled with shadows. This was not the future she had dreamed of before, but rather, a nightmare that haunts all seeking a more enlightened path.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-16631563901067546692009-09-11T18:07:00.000-07:002009-09-11T18:16:02.128-07:00CollusionImmanuel Kant would have had an explanation for it. "Each, according to his own inclination follows his own purpose, often in opposition to others; yet each individual and people, as if following some guiding thread, go towards a natural but to each of them unknown goal; all work toward furthering it, even if they would set little store by it if they did know it."<br /><br />So go the Barons of Industry. Each having their own compass, they all found their way by separate paths and gathered with the judas Viceroy of the muddy lake to lay out the battle plan. "Stay the course! We are the Chosen Ones. We shall not give up our just spoils."<br /><br />And so the plan is coming together to lay waste to the E Street playbill. Whatever it turns out to be.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-8646779870238482282009-09-11T05:24:00.000-07:002009-09-11T05:28:40.138-07:00X 1How impressive is it to fire off a tube of propellant sitting on its side? <br /><br />Ask Charlie P! <br /><br />He was "very impressed."<br /><br />We'll pay for the cab to take him home after the next Fourth of July fireworks. <br /><br />We wouldn't want him driving in that condition.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-16995081040817094402009-09-10T15:41:00.000-07:002009-09-10T17:36:41.195-07:00The One After 9/09What a mess!<br /><br />Maybe now we can call time on any more 60 day studies seeking higher truths? Maybe Santa Claus really doesn't exist? Maybe Sybil snuck a draft in when Norm wasn't looking? Maybe Jack Weinberg was right? Maybe Paul is dead?<br /><br />Our first clue that something was amiss came in the form of the Panel make-up. Did you notice anyone in the group with more than academic or outdated credentials? Neither did we. Anyone who has constructed anything more tangible than view-graph presentations in the last 20 years? Ah, no. Anyone exhibiting any form of enlightenment whatsoever in understanding the real crux of the problem at hand and the organizational skills to dissect it? Anyone with new and innovative ideas?<br /><br />Anybody besides Jeff, that is? <br /><br />If the former, and we might now add, irrelevant, Emperor hadn't left us at the Italian Waiter's table holding the bill would there have been any need for a 475nm Ribbon Panel in the first place? Of course, not. This administration's need to socially intervene in anything and everything (as if our very health care depended on it) thus required some assessment of the depth of the ditch we currently find ourselves in. Having resolved that, does anybody really think this is about a measly $3B a year? Are we really saving that just to buy more clunkers next year?<br /><br />No, the problem is the same as its always been. Alluded to but missing from the executive summary was a starting point. Just what is it that is so important to accomplish in space that only humans can do it? Without that starting premise (and we don't think its "field geology"), which the Panel clearly states as an axiom upon which all else must be derived, the presented options are set afloat, once again, without context. No need for Buck Rogers, no bucks.<br /><br />Here Mr. Band Leader, a.k.a. LoriAndI. Have a kleenex.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-3761443394321723332009-09-08T05:31:00.000-07:002009-09-08T05:38:43.918-07:00Who Needs Ethics Anyway?An ethics waiver has been granted to the new Band Leader allowing him to serve despite his previous work with two of E Street's big contractors, SAIC and GenCorp. <br /><br />The waiver remains silent on Alliant Techsystems. Perhaps that's just not going to be an issue in the near future? Or could it be that everyone just knows that it never stopped one RocketDoc anyway, so why should it inhibit the new Band Leader?<br /><br />Rule. Apply as needed and ignore when inconvenient.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-46473717291157357982009-09-02T10:16:00.000-07:002009-09-02T10:32:21.658-07:00Blame GameViceroy Hanley, standing on one leg with his fingers crossed behind his back, came as close as he's going to admit the real status of Orion at it's PDR. He's at least two years behind schedule. How do we know that?<br /><br />"It'll take up to two years to fit a new rocket to the capsule," he said. Design changes to accommodate weight and size differences are required he says. <br /><br />But at least one EELV provides more mass margin than the corndog does.<br /><br />Oh well. What's another two years on a 14 year schedule anyway?Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3673435362400368888.post-34983543808913886502009-08-31T17:54:00.000-07:002009-08-31T18:30:56.189-07:00Weekend Getaway"I've had many wonderful experiences in developing advanced space transportation technologies, but nothing compares to this project," he said in 2006. "This is fundamentally why I came to NASA." <br /><br />The revisionists, now leaderless, nevertheless have begun to paint a much different portrait of someone who, as early as 2003, began contemplating leaving the lair. So why, fundamentally, did he decide to leave now? Packing up and moving out on a Saturday? Taking the last two weeks of his incomparable time as leave?<br /><br />Oh, never mind.Rocket Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05109496878476775729noreply@blogger.com2